Whoa Z and x make the same sound
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
