is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
