I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
