I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
