thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
