we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
