I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
