im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
