Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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