You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
