every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
