I want to stick my p in your. b.
you win again, gameday.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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