have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize