You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
