I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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