It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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