god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
