So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
