honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
