So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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