How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
