They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
