Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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