piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
