I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
