I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
