your thong is hanging out like whoa
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
