and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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