hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
