i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize