Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
