is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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