Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
