69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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