Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
