So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize