I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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