Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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