I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
