new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
