I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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