yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
