Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
