Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize