forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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