I heard we made out
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
