Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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