We got so high we made milksteak
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
