my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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