why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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