We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
