I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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