That's intense
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
