I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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