grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
