I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
