He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize