just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
