Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize