I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
