Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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