he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
do herpes really smell.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
